If you tend to use phrases like “liquid lunch” or “sandwich in a glass” to justify your binge drinking, then this is the post for you!

You might think that here at Chez Fruit Maven (oh yes – I will lamely use the word “chez” if I want to) it’s all about healthy living and eating. Surely I am eating fruit for all my snacks and juicing my breakfast and making fruit parfaits for the occasional, well deserved dessert. Of course I am — every year until about noon on January 1st. Later, at approximately 12:01pm I go back to my lazy, day spa loving self and order a fancy martini from poolside while mocking the girls with the fake tans and melon boobs. (Ok, so this might not be my exact life but believe me it is really, really close.)

What is my point here? I am starting a cocktail column! Every so often, when a particular fruit strikes my fancy, I’ll be posting a recipe of my latest amusement. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. And please, let me know if you try them or if you make up some of your own.  Here we go (yeah, I’m hoping to get better at naming them):

Two-quat-tini

• 1 limequat
• 1 mandarinquat
• 2 teaspoons powdered sugar
• a pinch of cayenne (use a light touch here or you will seriously mess this up)
• 2 ounces light rum
• 2 ounces club soda
• crushed ice

1. Slice the limequat and mandarinquat in half or quarters and place in the bottom of a cocktail shaker
2. Add the powdered sugar and the pinch of cayenne
3. Muddle! Muddle! Muddle!
4. Add crushed ice, light rum and club soda
5. Strain into an appropriate glass (I have no idea what is appropriate)
6. Garnish with a twist of peel (or stop trying to impress everyone and just drink it)