(Or if you just want the gift giving guide, you can get right to it here.)

I have a goofy relationship with holidays. On the surface it doesn’t seem weird at all. I love them! I adore Halloween and Thanksgiving and Hanukkah and Christmas (I grew up in a joint household although now there is some Mormon and some Buddhist action happening, but that’s for another day, another blog because this place is not about religion. Thank you very much.) Back to the point! I love them! But not really. They are always disappointing me. They are like that awesome aunt who has the coolest stuff and shares with you and looks at you when you talk and she seems magical and modern, except that one time when she bought you a fancy lace bra from Paris and you weren’t really old enough to wear a bra yet and it just felt… off. And you realized that her gifts were never really about you at all. Yikes and ewww. (No, this never happened to me, just a story.) So yeah, that’s kind of how I feel about holidays. The idea of them is spectacular but the delivery…not so much.

So I totally opted out of Thanksgiving this year, although I did have pie for breakfast because some traditions just need to be retained and reworked a little. Seems like many days would be better if they just started with pie! And I may opt out of Christmas as well. I’m not sure. But the one thing that I love…that I completely adore to the very tips of my toes is stockings! YAY for stockings. I may ask for a stocking for my birthday next year.

One year when I was five and I was just getting the hang of Christmas delivery methods, I asked Santa for a second stocking (secretly hoping it would also be filled to the brim). And it totally worked! When Santa delivers, he really delivers (at least in the stocking department.) The funny thing at my house, or at least now I know it’s funny because I haven’t really met anyone else who does it this way, is that we did the stockings last. After waking up and opening all the presents one at a time (Gah! Torture!) and after we felt overwhelmed and beyond satisfied, then someone would always remember, “The Stockings!“

“We still have the stockings!!!!!!!!!”

At the tip of the toe, there was always a beautiful Christmas tangerine of course. And there always will be. This year I’m hoping for one of these or these. Yes please.

The stocking was also filled with whole nuts. This was mostly a filler that got shoved to the side, but they HAD to be there nonetheless. Now that I have found these gorgeous red walnuts, I am completely pissed that my Christmas nuts weren’t ALWAYS red. Red is a Christmas color! What the hell? I better get them from now on. That’s all I’m saying about that.

So anyway, I find that people often shirk their duties on the stockings (run of the mill tangerines and boring brown walnuts just as a start) and I am on a quest to remedy this situation. So I put together a list of super awesome, Fruit Maven recommended stocking stuffers. I put them all in the Fruit Maven Amazon Store. How easy is that? I also added my notes about why this or that item is awesome and there is a special “What the hell is this?” section, which is small but disconcerting.

I would love to hear about your favorite traditions, or traditions you’ve flipped around and made your own, or your stocking stuffer ideas. Send it all my way, because like I said. I love holidays!

Relatively common but a variety I want:

Peacotum
Paw Paw
Mamey Sapote
Surinam Cherry

Fruit with an unusual color:

Blue Apricot
Blue Java Banana (Ice Cream Banana)
Pink Cherimoya
White Blueberry
Pink and Purple Finger Limes

Fruit with a cool name:

Bastard Cherry
Delicious Monsters
Congo Goobers
Lovi-lovi
Num-num
Umbrella Fruit
Doctor Hogg Apple

Exotic fruit:

Lilly Pilly
Camu-Camus
Cashew Apple
Biriba
Peanut Butter Fruit
Star Apple
Jaboticaba
Ice Cream Bean

And tons of berries (I’ve hardly tried any):

Salmonberry
Loganberry
Cloudberry
Chokeberry
Jostaberry
Seaberry
Honeyberry

Is this thing on? Testing. Testing. 1-2-3.

Right. So…. I have had my wrist slapped ever-so politely by a few people lately about the apparent abandonment of the old fruit blog.  So I am here to make it right. I have tons and tons of excuses. But seriously, SERIOUSLY – who cares? I’m here now. Let’s hug.

I have had some fruit since we last chatted but I didn’t take pictures and I don’t think it was that memorable. There were loquats, a fancy banana that really had no name, just numbers — something like B52 banana, various standard strawberries, etc.  You haven’t missed much. But summer is coming! Let the fruit gorging begin. I’ll be back (I hope).

For today, sadly, I have no fruit. BUT… I do have a super cool fruit app-game-thing for the iphone that has been using up a good portion of my non-existent free time (basically the time it takes to fast fwd the commercials on my DVR while watching Gossip Girl).  Anyway, the app!

If you don’t have an iphone then I feel a little sad for you and I offer this link, which is really just proof that iphone lovers are insane and prepared to kill you for showing your android or whatever it is that you have. For everyone else who remains safe to walk the streets, I give you FRUIT NINJA!

The next best thing to eating fruit, is hacking it up in a virtual game while you pretend you are a ninja. Believe me, it is crazy satisfying. You get different sound effects for the different fruit textures — more of low *thwack* for a banana versus a crazy *splurt* for a watermelon. It’s awesome. Also I hate watermelons and there are a lot of those, which I find particularly gratifying.  And when your game ends you get quirky Sensei fruit facts like this one:

Yeah – I dunno. They have a thing for watermelons. So whip out your wallet, spend the 99 cents and get to it. (I don’t know them or get anything from promoting this other than to get you people off my back for a while for lack of attention.)

Feel free to brag about your high score in the comments, but know that I will totally mock and judge you behind your back for being so geeky. My high score is 191 if you were wondering. Also, my nail polish is currently red.

Despite this love, I had no idea there were so many tangerines in the world. No. Idea. I have reviewed quite a few mandarins and related hybrids (Page, Satsuma, Kishu, Mandarinquat, Rangpur Lime, Ugli Fruit) and I have tasted a few more that haven’t made it on to the site yet: Clementines, Cuties, Pixies, Honey, Algerian, Shasta (a favorite) and Sunburst. But there are so, so many more. It’s ridiculous. So I thought I would round up some ideas for you (for me really – let’s not kid ourselves). Pretty much all of these can be made with various oranges as well (see Cara Cara, Sanguinello, Moro). Let me know if you have more. As you might imagine, my fridge is full.

10 Ways to Cook with a Tangerine

1. Butter baking dish, sprinkle with tangerine zest and fill with contents from baked pasta recipe (red and/or white sauce). You will be shocked at how delicious this tastes.
2. Whip some fresh cream. Fold in a bit of fine zest and a tablespoon of rum. Use to top all kinds of desserts or just dip fingers and lick.
3. Boil a few sliced in half (can add limes, lemons, mandarinquats, whatever citrus you have) with a stick of cinnamon and a bit of fresh ginger. Strain into mug and add honey.  Drink and stay healthy.  (thanks keri)
4. Mix 1T zest with 1C sugar. Pulse in food processor to blend. Use wherever you use sugar.
5. Juice one tangerine and mix with equal amount of champagne. Indulge.
6. Place a small sprig of rosemary and the zest of a tangerine in a food processor and pulverize. Mix with half cup of fine sea salt and spread out on a tray to dry (5 hours+). Pat on to fish, shrimp, beef, pork or chicken. Drizzle with oil and grill.
7. Add segments to your favorite coleslaw.
8. Peel tangerine and blend with milk, ice and ice cream (best with a seedless type). Pour into old fashioned mug and grab a straw.
9. Mix a bit of zest, a squeeze of juice, olive oil, salt and pepper. Toss with fresh cut green beans or asparagus and roast at 425 degrees until tender.
10. Mix up a batch of chamomile tea. Squeeze in some tangerine juice and pour into popsicle molds or an ice cube tray with tooth picks. Freeze and enjoy. Turn up the heat, throw on some shorts and pretend it’s summer.

You might also be interested in: 10 Ways to Cook With a Lime