For another reason, the cocktail options are absolutely blowing my mind. I mean just look at it. (Sidenote to say that I can’t wait for “the future” to bring us technology with smells associated with pictures. Not to mention the individual flying pods the Jetsons promised me years ago.) The second the fragrance hit my nostrils, I started salivating and heading for the gin. It was only the passing of the garbage truck indicating it was about 8:00 am in the morning that stopped me. Never one to be delayed too long from a new tipsy treat, I came back to it later and transformed this lucky lady in to a drink to die for. Scroll down for the recipe because you aren’t going to want to miss it.

APPEARANCE 3.5 out of 5 stars

Golf ball size citrus with bumpy surface ranging from green to yellow. Pale yellow flesh with lots of seeds.

AROMA 5 out of 5 stars

Intense citrus perfume that sings through the room. Smells like every citrus you’ve ever smelled combined in to one. Absolutely intoxicating.

TEXTURE 3.5 out of 5 stars

Plump and juicy.

TASTE 4 out of 5 stars

The flesh is quite sour but less so than a lemon or lime. It has an extremely complex profile with grapefruit standing out the most for me. I took a little nibble of the peel as well and it adds a lively bitter component that I kept wanting.

OVERALL 4 out of 5 stars

This isn’t a fruit you would eat fresh as a snack, much like most of the other acidic citrus you’ve had. The fragrance will knock you out and my mind is simply racing with culinary ideas for it. Next to the Kaffir Lime and the Armenian Tigger Melon, I’ve never smelled anything so powerfully mesmerizing. I’m seriously in love.

MINTY BLOWFISH

• 1/2  kiwano melon
• 3 mint leaves
• 2 ounces gin (Hendricks is excellent for this)
• 1/2 ounce fresh squeezed lemon juice (or about half a lemon)
• Ice cubes
• Champagne

1. Slice Kiwano Melon in half. Take a knife and cut around the edges of the melon between the peel and the flesh. Use a spoon to scoop out the flesh and place in cocktail shaker. Set aside the melon half.
2. Add the mint leaves and muddle vigorously (muddle way more than you think – those little gelatin pods are not that interested in giving up their juice. MUDDLE!).
3. Add gin and lemon juice.
4. Shake with ice and strain in to melon half, or use a martini glass if you are too prissy to hold a prickly cup.
5. Top with champagne.
6. Garnish with lemon or kiwano slice.

You might think that here at Chez Fruit Maven (oh yes – I will lamely use the word “chez” if I want to) it’s all about healthy living and eating. Surely I am eating fruit for all my snacks and juicing my breakfast and making fruit parfaits for the occasional, well deserved dessert. Of course I am — every year until about noon on January 1st. Later, at approximately 12:01pm I go back to my lazy, day spa loving self and order a fancy martini from poolside while mocking the girls with the fake tans and melon boobs. (Ok, so this might not be my exact life but believe me it is really, really close.)

What is my point here? I am starting a cocktail column! Every so often, when a particular fruit strikes my fancy, I’ll be posting a recipe of my latest amusement. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. And please, let me know if you try them or if you make up some of your own.  Here we go (yeah, I’m hoping to get better at naming them):

Two-quat-tini

• 1 limequat
• 1 mandarinquat
• 2 teaspoons powdered sugar
• a pinch of cayenne (use a light touch here or you will seriously mess this up)
• 2 ounces light rum
• 2 ounces club soda
• crushed ice

1. Slice the limequat and mandarinquat in half or quarters and place in the bottom of a cocktail shaker
2. Add the powdered sugar and the pinch of cayenne
3. Muddle! Muddle! Muddle!
4. Add crushed ice, light rum and club soda
5. Strain into an appropriate glass (I have no idea what is appropriate)
6. Garnish with a twist of peel (or stop trying to impress everyone and just drink it)